Grief (revisited after a year)

I haven’t written anything here since January 2015.My last post was titled simply, “Grief”, because even for me who loves words I could hardly find any. I wanted to pay tribute to all involved in the family tragedy in Cairns, because it involved Torres Strait islanders and I had grown fond of many local people I’d worked with on various islands over a two year period. Being a close knit community and family orientated I knew that terrible incident would shatter them.

I feel somehow hijacked by grief this past year. I’ve had a year of ill health, unexpected and sudden. I’ve learnt that it takes time to adjust to change. That we don’t do ourselves any favours when we set the bar too high with a list of shoulds and oughts in our minds. I started this blog in late 2013 expecting I’d post every week, expecting I would finish the book I was writing about my remote area nurse experiences, but life has presented me with surprises and now I need to lower the bar and do away with my list. I feel what I feel, I can only do so much in one day, life is what it is and so is grief. Grief has no rules it simply is.

Our remote area nurse community has been rocked the past few days with the news of the murder of one of our colleagues in the course of her work in Central Australia. I predicted that this tragedy would bring to the surface many stories of loss, fear and disrespect from other RANS and it has. I’m sure the outpouring of grief for Gayle will continue for a long time as will the sharing of each others stories. This death could have happened anywhere, in any remote community, at any time, but it is bringing up the important issues of safety, duty of care and respect. We are encouraging each other to remember what we love about our work as a defence against despair and being eaten up with anger. But grief is it’s own master and we each have to find our way to journey with it. My thoughts go out to us all, family, colleagues, community members, police, our families who worry about us and people not connected with remote health but who have heard the news and are saddened by it. May we find our strength close by in what we love.

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